Recently I’ve been in this odd state of this certain comatose immobility. Instead of sleeping I lay in bed in my clothes, staring at my ceiling letting my mind wonder until early morning hours when my eyes finally close. I wake up an hour later, get coffee go to school, go get more coffee go to reversal come home. My body has learned to run on coffee and two hours of sleep. Fuck it all. Senior year feel free to rip me apart more. I just miss him and right now around Christmas time I start thinking about how one year ago how hard I was falling for him, and how happy we were together….dancing around his room to the same John Lennon song over and over for hours. Then we’d fall on the floor exhausted and just stare at each other and laugh and smile at the thought that we were falling in love. But now were broken up and I’ve spent all day long this week thinking about how stupid I was for breaking up with you. How much I miss holding your hand or kissing your cold lips, smiling at you or doing that weird thing with our hands. We had a great quirky relationship. I’m sorry I ruined it, I’m beginning to regret it. I just really miss you right now….